A Question of Grave Concern
(Pun Fully Intended)
[Published July 31, 2010]

Here is a question to consider: If your spouse preceded you in death and you later re-married, as you approached the end of your life would you choose to be buried along side your first spouse, or placed next to your second? Or both, if possible? What factors would guide your choice?

This question has been faced and answered by several descendants in the Greater Ducklow family and is a question that will be answered by several others in the next few years.  Of those that already have faced this dilemma it appears that two important questions drove their ultimate decision: “Who was I married to the longest?” and “Who did I have children with?”  Perhaps a third and fourth consideration came into play too: “Does my second wife have a logical burial location if she is not buried near me?” and “Is there room to be buried next to one spouse vs. another?”

Here is how five in the  Greater Ducklow family answered the question:

(1) John T Ducklow (1847-1923) is buried next to both of his wives in the LaBelle Cemetery of Oconomowoc.  He was married to Blanche Townsend for four years before she passed in 1903.  They had no children.  John then was wed to Kathryn Nicholson in 1903 and they were married for 19 years.  They had one son. John died in 1923 and was buried next to his first wife Blanche.   Kathryn re-married about four years after John’s death.  The death date and place of her second husband is unknown, but what is apparent is she cherished John dearly, as she was buried next to both him and Blanche.

(2) Nellie Ducklow LaGrander Davis (1876 – 1948) is buried next to her first husband George LaGrander.  Nellie and George had been married about ten years before George’s accidental death in 1905.  Nellie and George had three children together.  Six years later Nellie married Albert Davis.  They were married 19 years upon Nellie’s death.  Nellie and Albert had no children together.  Nellie is buried next to George the Spring Lake Cemetery near Spring Valley.  Second husband Albert Davis is buried in the Poplar Hill Cemetery near Rock Elm next to his first wife Luella Weldon.  The apparent decision that both Albert and Nellie made was to be buried next to the spouse from which they had children, even though the length of their marriage to each other was longer than to their respective first spouses.

(3) Frank Erwin Ducklow (1885-1975) is buried next to his second wife, Jessie Roatch in the Spring Lake Cemetery.  Frank out-lived three wives.  Frank’s first wife, Francis Prine, died in 1910 shortly after giving birth to her son Willis. She is buried in the Clayfield cemetery in rural Pierce County.  Frank and Francis had only been married two years upon her death.  Two years later Frank married his second wife Jessie Roatch and they had seven children together.  Frank and Jessie were wed for 35 years upon her death in 1947.  In 1948 Frank married Josie Roatch McCleod, Jessie’s widowed sister.  Frank and Josie were married 17 years before Josie’s death in 1965.  Josie was buried next to her first husband Albert McCleod in the Maple Grove Cemetery near Ellsworth.  Frank and Josie had no children together. In Frank’s case, he is buried next to wife he was married to the longest and with whom had the most children..

(4) Clayton Joseph Ducklow (1893 - 1965) is buried next to his first wife, Mary McMenamin.  Mary and Clayton wed in 1910 and were married 45 years upon Mary’s death in 1955.  Together they had six children together.  In 1959 Clayton married Jane Schimmel.  They later divorced, year unknown; but the marriage was short, less than five years and produced no children.  Clayton and Mary are buried in Resurrection Cemetery.  In Clayton’s case, he is buried next to the wife of more than four decades and with whom he had his children.

(5) Clarence T Blair (1908 – 2006) is buried next to his first wife, Alta Hammann.  Clarence and Alta married 52 years upon Alta’s death in 1988.  Clarence and Alta had two children together.   In 1991 Clarence married Clara (Living).   They were married five years upon Clarence’s death; this marriage had no children.  Clarence and Alta are buried in the Wayside Cemetery near Barron.  Clarence is next to his bride of five plus decades of marriage and with whom he had his children.


The pattern of being buried next to the spouse you spent the most years with seems to be the dominate factor. 



Footnotes:

All the cemetery’s mentioned are in Wisconsin, with the exception of Resurrection Cemetery in Mendota Heights, MN.

There are other examples of a Ducklow descendant passing, and the surviving spouse re-married.  I have chosen not to publish the details for concern over privacy and in some cases lack of vital statistical data to provide accurate facts.